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Adopted Kaju, a 5-year-old male Indie, 3 months ago. Background: found as a stray, spent 1.5 years in a kennel, adopted once before and returned (the previous owner said "couldn't handle him"). We think the return + re-kennel made his anxiety significantly worse.
Separation anxiety symptoms: howling from 5 minutes after we leave, destructive behaviour (he's destroyed 2 pillows, a doormat, and scratched the door frame), neighbours have complained about the noise. We work from home currently but can't do this forever.
We've tried: leaving a T-shirt with our scent, leaving the TV on, stuffed Kongs. The Kong distracts him for maybe 10 minutes. After that, nothing helps. We've been leaving for 1-2 minutes and returning (as advised online) but after 3 months of this we feel like we're not progressing.
Genuine severe separation anxiety — especially with a previous return in history — almost certainly needs medication support alongside behaviour modification. Please see a vet about this: fluoxetine or clomipramine are commonly prescribed for SA in dogs, taken daily (not just when leaving), and need 4-8 weeks to build up. These aren't sedatives — they reduce baseline anxiety so the behaviour training can actually work.
The fact that Kongs don't work is a classic "too far over threshold" indicator. The dog is so anxious that food becomes irrelevant.
The medication point cannot be overstated. We tried behaviour modification alone for 4 months with our SA rescue with zero progress. Three weeks after starting fluoxetine and suddenly the training started sticking. The medication creates the neurological space for learning to happen.
Which vet prescribed the fluoxetine? We're in Bengaluru and finding a vet who's comfortable prescribing for behavioural issues has been difficult — most want to refer to a behaviourist first which adds months of waiting.
The 1-2 minute departure protocol: you need to be more granular for severe SA. Start with sub-5-second exits: pick up keys, put down keys — treat. Pick up bag, put down bag — treat. Open door, close door without going out — treat. Gradually build. True systematic desensitisation for severe SA can take 6+ months. It's a long process but it IS effective with consistency.
What worked for our severe-SA rescue alongside medication: videoing him while we were out so we could see exactly what was happening and when. This revealed that his worst anxiety was in the 5-20 minute window — after 45 minutes, he'd actually lie down and nap. This information changed our approach — we focused treatment on that critical window.
The video monitoring revelation is so useful — we found out our SA dog's worst window was actually the first 8 minutes after we left, not sustained throughout. That changed how we structured the short-departure training entirely.
Calming aids that some dogs respond to (alongside training, not instead of): Adaptil collar worn all the time, calming supplements (Zylkene, PetCalm), DAP diffuser in the space where he's left. These don't resolve SA but can reduce the baseline intensity enough for training to stick.
Consider a dog camera with treat dispenser (Furbo or similar). You can see what he's doing, hear him, and dispense a treat remotely. For some dogs with SA, just hearing your voice through the camera helps. For others, it makes no difference. Worth trying if you can borrow or rent one to test.
A boarding setup or pet sitter for the days you need to go out — not as a permanent solution but as immediate relief while the long-term training and medication work. Kaju shouldn't be suffering full-blown anxiety events regularly while you're working on the training. Containment of the crisis while building toward the solution.
Be kind to yourself too. Severe SA with a returned dog is genuinely one of the hardest behavioural challenges in pet ownership. Three months of active work without full resolution is not failure — for severe cases, realistic timelines are 6-18 months. You're doing something very difficult for a dog who needs it.
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